Blue Moon
by AugustBaby
Summary: Blue Moon is a tragic love story featureing everyone's fave werewolf, Remus Lupin. Please take a look and leave me feedback! This is my first attempt at a fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

Blue Moon

Chapter 1

It was a dull, chilly November morning as Remus Lupin- tired, unshaven and lonely- sat gazing out of his filthy window. The sky, recently bereaved of the amiable summer sun, was now filled with dark clouds, which hung over the terrace like the pain of loss.

Remus thought about her every day, even though it was over a year ago that he'd lost her. She was something that never left him, always there, and no amount of happiness could ever eliminate her. He didn't want to eliminate her. He'd stay like this forever just to have her with him.

It was a tragedy, what he'd become, although he didn't really see it. He saw nothing anymore. He _was_ nothing anymore. He stirred his tea slowly and solemnly, staring out from his squalid home into the cold concrete blur below. The smell of his old wax jacket had merged with the air around him, although he'd become used to it by now- he'd been sat there so long.

The Remus Lupin who was now sat on a rickety wicker chair in his dank, dreary living room had hot tears prickling behind his eyes. He hated his grief, and it came every time he saw the photograph. But he couldn't help himself looking every few days. He couldn't bear to lose the memory of her.

Lysandra.

He reached into his coat pocket and shakily pulled out the creased photograph. His lip began to tremble as he failed to contain his sadness.

Tears were rolling down his face now, without his command. She'd been taken from him so early on, they could have had years together, a proper marriage, a house, a loving family... And it was all his fault.

Lysandra smiled up at him from the photograph, her joy radiating the misery that encompassed her memory. Golden curls cascaded gracefully down her shoulders, complimented by laughing sapphire eyes. She was so happy.

Remus had always been alone. His parents had died when he was only fourteen, leaving him in the care of his pleasant but often very busy godmother. He often enjoyed his independence, but he often found himself lacking company when he needed it most.

One such time when he was not lacking the company he needed was his sixteenth birthday.

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It was November 1st, 1965. There was nothing special going on, nothing to suggest that meek, mild- mannered Remus Lupin should be celebrating his 16th birthday. He'd kept it quiet, he didn't like a fuss, yet he was still disappointed his 3 best friends- James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew (Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail respectively)- hadn't even wished him a nice day. Not a year had passed so far when he hadn't received a greeting. Something inside him sighed at the thought that they may have forgotten. He tried not to show it, but deep down, he was rather upset.

He entered the common room alone, having missed his friends for breakfast. This is the way he put it. Actually, they apparently hadn't bothered waiting. Remus' mood dipped at this thought. They'd never done that before, let alone on his birthday. Despite his disappointment, he put a shift on, hoping to maybe catch them before they reached the hall. Unfortunately for Remus, the corridors were completely marauder-free.

Passing a few groups of Ravenclaws and a Slytherin prefect on the way, a very confused Remus arrived at the hall well in time for breakfast. 'That's another point', he thought to himself, 'it's only ten past eight'. He thought nothing of it until he entered the hall to find that they were nowhere to be seen. He would have worried if it were anybody else, but he knew Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs well enough not to be bothered. They could get out of anything. It was only last week they'd managed to get out of expulsion for setting fire to Severus Snapes' pants. How on earth they got away with it by claiming they were practising the Incendio charm when it got out of hand still baffled the sensible Moony.

Remus sat down quietly to the breakfast table. He felt slightly awkward and embarassed at being on his own. He took two slices of toast and ladelled baked beans on top and ate without noise or mess- quickly and efficiently, quite the opposite to how his three friends would've. He drank down a whole goblet of pumpkin juice in one, and resisted the temptation to belch loudly. James and Sirius would have been disappointed.

Still puzzled at the disappearance of his friends, Remus headed back towards the common room alone. He decided to check the Marauder's Map (which had been compiled just last month) to see where his friends were, just to clear his curiosity.

The common room was much busier now. A giggling group of 4th year girls were sat around the fire reading a magazine and a of 3rd year was pinning something to the notice board. Nobody appeared to have noticed Remus coming in, which was convenient. Despite his placidity, he remained a popular aquaintance of many. Well liked, but he didn't flaunt the fact. Right now, he was in no mood to be harassed with greetings. He just wanted to know what the others were up to.

He ascended the wooden steps in his soft, worn out shoes only to be greeted by a terrified- looking first year.

"Good morning," he said, with fleeting eye contact, clearly frightened to death of having to converse with a prefect 4 years older than himself, "Th- the three boys up there have asked me not to let anyone in...er..."

Remus had no difficulty guessing who those three boys were. "They wouldn't happen to be Sirius Black and James Potter and Peter Pettigrew, would they?" Asked Remus with mock inquisition. The first year didn't realise his inquisition was mock.

"Yes," he replied, "James and Sirius are in there. But I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to let anyone in." He looked like he might cry.

"Don't worry," said Remus kindly, but feeling an angry heat towards his friends, "I'll sort this..."

He gently ushered the first year out of the way with his kind authority. However, when he banged on the dormitory door, it was more like manic hammering than kind authority. The first year jumped out of his skin.

"James, Sirius, Peter!" Bellowed Remus, "what the Hell are you doing in there!"

There was a moments pause where Remus was sure the three were whispering over what to say.

"Er..." stammered Sirius, "We're just... cleaning up some...er..."

"Mess." said James, with a tone of finality.

"Yeah," agreed Peter, clearly unable to think of anything better to say.

There was a pause in which Remus was expecting an explanation, but before he had time to speak, James butted in.

"You're not coming in."

The angry heat within Remus had erupted and he's gone rather red, which was more shocking in him than anyone, not only because of his mild temprement, but also because of his normally white, pallid skin tone.

"Well, ha. Okay then." she shouted, not angrily, but not pleasantly. Firmly. Somewhat sadly. The sort of shouting from a nice guy that makes you feel dreadfully guilty and mean.

With that, he sadly descended back to the common room, leaving no time for retaliation. He didn't want to hear it. He slunk secretly through the portrait hole, avoiding eye contact with anyone who might like to talk to him. Down the staircases he went, careful not to put his foot through the vanishing stair, until he arrived at the bottom, in the entrance hall.

Deserted.

Empty.

He sat on the base of a gargoyle for about five minutes, eating a bar of Honeyduke's Best Chocolate, when he heard a familiar but unexpected voice.

"You ok, Remus?"

It was a gentle, soothing female voice which made him look up. The speaker was Lysandra Leonessa, a Ravenclaw prefect from his Care of Magical Creatures class. Remus blushed a rosy colour. She _was_ pretty. She always answered the questions right, yet was never labelled as a know it all. She was shy. Quiet. Yet, despite her placidity, she remained a popular aquaintance of many. Well liked, but she didn't flaunt the fact. She reminded him of someone...

"Er... Yes thanks, I suppose. Not too bad..."

"You just looked a bit down... Someone told me it was your birthday today? Peter... Pettigrew, is it?"

Something inside Remus jumped. It made his face have a momentary spasm. He hoped she hadn't noticed, although that would be inprobable as he'd left his seat without realising at the sound of her words.

"Peter told you that?" He said, trying to maintain a calm tenner to his voice, "you mean, he _did_ remember?"

"Yeah, I suppose he must've," said Lysandra airily, " told me about it yesterday. Had a long conversation with him actually, we talked about loads of rubbish, or rather, he did. He has a lot to say for himself doesn't he?" She laughed a laugh that brought sunshine even to Remus' dark mood. "I got a bit fed up after a while, stopped concentrating when he started going on about what he was planning for tonight and how James and Sirius always wear Tuesday socks on a Friday..."

Remus wondered if that's what they were up to. They were planning to do something tonight, on his birthday, without him. Well, that was fine, he thought to himself. Let them get on with it. Not like he cared... Or did he?

"Well, they've ignored me all day," said Remus, unable to sound totally indifferent to this fact. "They didn't even say happy birthday."

"Really?" said Lysandra, aghast, "That's not good is it?" The care in her tone was genuine. "Well, if you're on your own, Remus, so am I... Do you fancy going for a walk or something? I wouldn't want you to be alone on your birthday or anything..."

Although shocked at this unusual request (he could imagine James and Sirius' face- "Lysandra Leonessa! Wha---!"), he couldn't find any reason why he shouldn't go.

"Thanks," he replied, pleasantly. "That'd be nice."

He left his seat and together they left the castle, out into the cool, green grounds. Maybe his birthday wouldn't turn out so badly after all...

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	2. Chapter 2

BLUE MOON- CHAPTER 2

The grass was dewy and crisp, cold air chilled his nostrils. Remus Lupin felt slightly awkward. He was a rather shy intellectual, constantly in the shadow of his more extravagant friends, and he was not used to being treated with this kind of concern. He was rarely noticed. But the awkwardness he felt around Lysandra was a different kind of awkward. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he liked it. He'd never experienced it before...

"Gosh, it's freeeeezing out here!" Exclaimed Lysandra, her breath coming in icy swirls.

"Rather," replied Remus, his breath doing a similar thing. "Where are you planning on going?"

"Well, I don't mind really," said Lysandra. "You pick. It's your birthday, after all."

Being indecisive, Remus didn't like being told to pick. It made him go temporarily mute as his brain cells buzzed around in panic.

"Er... I really don't mind," He said, "I don't have any money..."

He wished he did, for some odd reason. He'd never really been one to think much of money, but as Lysandra walked next to him, her steps in time with his, his way of thinking changed. His pessimism was upturned and something that had been long asleep inside him was yawning and waking up. A rare sort of happiness- even an excitement.

"Well, if you want to go to Hogsmeade..."

She was reading his mind. Remus would very much like to go to Hogsmeade...

"I can lend you the money if there's anything you see? That is, if you want of course. It's your birthday afterall."

He felt extremely embarrassed at Lysandra's greater kindness. Firstly she'd given up her morning for him, now she was offering to lend him money. He felt like a charity case, although she didn't see it that way.

"Well, we'll got to Hogsmeade then," said Remus, "but you don't have to lend me any money."

"Well, the offer's there if you want it," she smiled, "I really don't mind, you know."

"It's ok, thanks for the offer."

They didn't walk in silence. They talked of many things, things so deep that Remus had never been able to talk about them to James and Sirius. Water crept up the back of his trousers, soaking his socks and making his legs more and more shivery. Just as the water on his trousers rose, so did his confidence. He found himself making jokes before long. Lysandra laughed at them. The conversation spilled from his mouth with such ease. Lysandra's presence was refreshing- it was like she'd unblocked a part of his soul. The happy part.

When they arrived in Hogsmeade, the clouds had begun to gather ominously overhead and there was a dull, chilled emptiness on the place. The shimmering damp of Hogwarts' grass had been replaced with a murky brown mud, gloopy and slippy beneath their feet.

"So, is there anywhere you want to go Remus?"

The truth was, there wasn't. But he felt he had to say somewhere or Lysandra would get a bit fed up. He didn't want that. He'd hate her to be fed up with him...

"Well, we could have a look in Honeydukes if you like," he said mildly, "they usually have some samples of _interesting _new products..."

"Haha, that's true," laughed Lysandra. "Last time my friend Lass went in there they gave her a..."

"Oh, Lass?" butted in Remus. He blushed. He'd never normally butt in like that. He felt like his hand deserved to be smacked, like a naughty little schoolboy. He paused on the silent question mark of his sentence, goggling at the floor.

"Yes," said Lysandra, completely unphased by his sudden outburst, "She was Sirius Black's ex- girlfriend."

"They made a good couple," said Remus, flipping the conversation over like he was making a bread roll. A soft, perfect bread roll. With golden curly hair.

"They did, actually," said Lysandra breezily, "She really liked him. I couldn't believe it when he dumped her, I thought he had more sense than to listen to James Potter, the boy who tried to blow up Moaning Myrtle by putting a firework down the toilet."

"They were only having a laugh," said Remus suddenly springing to the defence of the friends who had forgotten him and excluded him. What was he doing? The angry heat suddenly flickered in the embers. "But yes, I suppose what they did was very dangerous and..."

"Aw, Remus, you don't have to agree with me on everything. I actually think James and Sirius are absolutely hilarious and the best entertainment in this place."

Remus felt suddenly better. Of course they were. Of course James and Sirius were hilarious. They were the best entertainment in the place, that's what they were. And Sirius and Lass really DID make a good couple.

It was getting gradually colder. Their sodden feet and ankles were pulling up clumps of mud as they squelched on through. Honeydukes was closed and without either asking for preference, they'd taken to just walking dumbly around in the cold, talking of nothing and talking of everything. Talking like Remus had never talked before. They did not notice the first icy crystal fall onto Lysandra's shoulder, nor the second one hit her scarf. But when the hailstones were bouncing off their stinging skin and crackling off nearby windows like bullets, Remus and Lysandra ran in desperation to the nearest shop they could see. Madam Puddifoot's.

"That came on a bit fast, didn't it?" said Remus as he shook hailstones off his wet hair and still-shivering body.

"It certainly did!" complained Lysandra, who couldn't manage to get all the melting hailstones off her soaking woolly jumper. "Arrrgh! They just won't budge!"

Everyone in the pretty pink coffee shop was staring at them. Embarrassed, Remus blushed to blend in with his surroundings, and took a secluded seat in the corner. Lysandra followed and took the seat opposite him.

"Cosy in here though," she smiled, taking a flower from the vase in the middle of the table and pulling off the petals. "Shall we get something to warm us up? A hot chocolate or something?"

Remus knew she was offering to lend him the money but she hadn't confirmed. More out of manners than anything he replied "I don't have any money."

"Don't worry!" said Lysandra merrily, "I'll pay. Birthday present."

Remus was taken aback by her generosity and high spirits. Her smiliness was contagious, and he didn't feel ashamed at accepting her kind offer. Their drinks arrived quickly and Lysandra paid with courtesy and without bother. They sipped their hot chocolates together, quietly, occasionally catching each others eyes, but looking away ,embarrassed, as though they were looking at something rude. The silence was pulled over them awkwardly, like a jumper with a small head hole. Lopsided. Askew. Tight. It was weird how before they'd talked so freely and the conversation had suddenly slammed the brakes on, screeched to a halt and smashed into a wall. It was completely burnt out

The hot chocolate was soon finished but the conversation hadn't started. Remus drained his last drop, thick with undissolved chocolate powder, and put his mug down with finality. He glared dumbly at the table, grinning shyly at his lack of social flare. Lysandra chortled.

"Soooooh…." She sighed. "Er, the hailstone's stopped!"

It was true. It had gone unnoticed to Remus in his heady daydream of love and embarrassment. Well, it wasn't really of love. It was more of…. Of having found a new friend. That was it. A new friend. A new pretty friend. Very pretty. And nice.

"Perhaps we should go back to school while the weather's still okay. We could be stuck here for days otherwise."

It would have been a bad thing, stuck there for days. The place was cursed. With a non- talking spell.

"Yeah, good idea, we should get going. I want to find out what James and Sirius are up to."

The fire inside him glowed maliciously.

"Okay then. Grab your coat and we'll be off."

That was what they did. Back through the melting hailstones, across the squelching, soil- smelling mud. The cold wind bit at their faces and made their voices and knees shiver. But thankfully, conversation was beginning to flow again.

"God, even colder and wetter now!" complained Lysandra. "I hate wet weather. It always wrecks my mood."

"Yeah…." Replied Remus, "But at least I've got someone to talk to. It was nice to come with you, actually. I don't think we've ever really spoken properly before"

"Aw, you're sweet Remus!" Said Lysandra, playfully ruffling his hair.

The entrance hall came into view like an oasis in a desert. A safe haven from the freezing weather. Each of the pair quickened their pace and lengthened their steps, stalking squelchily through the soft, farting mud.

Once inside, the warmth made them breath a sigh of relief, despite the haunting draft that had managed to sneak in after the door had shut. Lysandra took off her sodden scarf and shook her wet hair out of the back of her coat, which had curled up even more due to the melted hailstones and had turned darker in colour.

However, Remus had no time to notice this. His eyes were fixed straight ahead.

Descending the steps into the Entrance Hall were James, Sirius and Peter, all carrying huge piles of paper. James had a party hat on and Sirius had all the strings from a party popper round his neck.

"Oh god…." Groaned Remus. He would never hear the end of this. Caught in the Great Hall, soaking wet, with a girl.

"Hiyuuuuh!" Exclaimed James as he ran towards Remus, party hat falling off his head to settle round his neck.

"Alright, _lovers_? Have one of these," grinned Sirius mischievously. "And your lovely girlfriend Lysandra Leonessa from Care of Magical Creatures can have one too."

Remus read the flyer Sirius had just handed him. Decorated with animated fireworks, it said in massive black letters:

"Come to

REMUS LUPIN'S 16TH BIRTHDAY PARTY!

7.00, 01/11/65, The Great Hall.

Food and entertainment will be provided. Come if you're not insane enough to miss the party of the year.

James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew"


	3. Chapter 3

It was an odd mixture of guilt and warmth that flooded through him once the words on the flyer had sunk in. He willed himself to think part of him had known all along that they wouldn't have forgotten, yet he suddenly felt very stupid for shouting at them through the dormitory door.

"Can you believe he thought we'd forgotten, Lysandra?" exclaimed Sirius.

"Yeah, for someone who got full marks in his last two transfiguration essays, he's pretty damn stupid." chortled James.

Remus blushed. He hated people thinking he was McGonagoll's favourite. Lysandra, however, remained in a dignified- or was it intimidated? - silence.

"How on earth have you managed to get McGonagoll to give you the Great Hall for the night?" Asked Remus, trying to change the subject, "Filch'll surely hang you by your ears from the…. I dunno…. But…"

"Ah Moony, the great innocent one," grinned Sirius. "Do you really think we'd be able to get McGonagoll to give us the Great Hall for the night-

"To have a party no less," interrupted James.

"And moreso, do you think we'd actually be thick enough to go and ask her? I mean, not _everyone_ can be a teacher's pet" proceeded Sirius, making Remus blush again.

"And do you think we'd be brave enough?" It was the first time Peter Pettigrew had spoken. And it appeared noone had even heard him, never mind acknowledged him.

"We're going to use the muffliato spell," said James, "and we've managed to bribe a second year into taking Polyjuice potion."

They were mad. They would get caught, and they would be expelled. Remus was filled with an almighty sense of dread. His friends were going to be expelled because of him. Because of him and his stupid birthday which stupidly fell- unlike the others'- during term time.

"You can't do that," said Remus, his tone suddenly deadly serious. "James, Sirius, you ca-

"Now, now, don't get all spoil-sporty on us, we put a lot of thought into this," said Sirius, a hint of his arrogance lacing his cheerful tone, "you've got to hear us out. But," he said, looking at the still silent Lysandra, "without sounding rude, Ly, I don't think it should be done in the presence of… others. So get ye up to the boys' dorm and we'll discuss it there."

They began to frogmarch him up the stairs, without even saying goodbye to Lysandra, when as an after thought, James shouted back to her.

"See you at 7- be there!"

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Back in the warmth and familiarity of the boys' dorm, Remus was fuming.

"How rude were you back there to Lysandra?!" he exclaimed. He sounded almost manic.

"Bah, Moony, you can't have them all, we thought you'd be excited," said Sirius, casually flicking offcuts of paper from their work earlier on into the bin with his wand. "And besides, if you wanted to snog her, you can do it later on at the party."

"Ha, like she'll be coming after the way you behaved back then! She probably never wants to see me again."

"Aha, so you do fancy her!"

Nobody said anything. Even Wormtail managed to suppress a stupid comment, and for the first time in his life, Remus wished he hadn't. And for the first time since he'd walked into the entrance hall, he realised he was soaking.

"Of course not," said Remus, eyes transfixed on his left ankle as he began to dry his trousers nervously with his wand. "She's just a friend, that's all."

It didn't feel wrong saying it. After all, all they'd done was been for a walk. James had intervened with Sirius' tidying- they were now fighting for control over a broken quill.

"Get lost, Prongs!" said Sirius, elbowing James in the shoulder and throwing the quill in the bin. "Anyway, regardless of whether we have a blossoming romance on our hands, we wanted to explain to you what we're doing tonight."

"Yes," sighed Remus, grateful of the change in subject.

"Well, we've managed to persuade Nicky Gudgeon- Davey's brother in the second year- to take some Polyjuice potion to disguise himself as Professor Hummerbee." Said Sirius. "Now, before you go interrupting, let me just point out that Hummerbee, as well as being pretty rubbish at Defence Against the Dark Arts, is also rubbish at staying awake for very long. Yes, we overheard him telling Professor Sprout that he has to be in bed by six every night- 'his mind isn't what it used to be, needs a good rest'- yeah, I'm sure of that too. So, if we can get Nicky to pretend to be Hummerbee, and then tell every other professor that he'd organised the little gathering in the hall…."

"It'll all be perfect." Concluded James, grinning. But to Remus, it still seemed ludicrously risky.

"But, it's so dangerous! If Hummerbee gets up, or if any of the other professors know he's in his room…"

"Well, Sprout'll probably be in there with him," sniggered James,

"Well, we'll be toast! And what if there are things said after the party? Surely Hummerbee will twig someone's been up to no good?"

"Moony, Moony, Moony, lighten up! And relax!" said Sirius, "We've got it all under control. Trust us- we've not been caught before."

"You've never disguised a second year as a professor before whilst having a rave in the Great Hall!"

"True," said James, "but we've taken an awful lot of precautions to make sure that we don't. Just this once, trust us."

Remus had no choice. It was his party, and whether he attended or not, it would still be going ahead. And if they got caught, he would still be blamed. He had no choice. If he was going to be expelled, he might as well be expelled for a reason.


End file.
